Face(less)book
I joined facebook back in 2006 only to be part of a group setup, to plan my Sister's hen weekend.
I posted a few pictures of my pets and made friends with some of my old school chums, really just being nosy.
I only use the account now to see pictures of my nephews and keep up with news with the choir I am in.
That is my Facebook account, my profile picture is me, well a picture of me about 5 years ago when I was a bit thinner, but still my real face. That said not the true me, because the true me likes to play FB games and write stories about supernatural beings.
In 2008 my husbands work took him a way for a number of months and I began to lean on my FB account more to get company. Started playing a few games to pass the evening when kids were in bed and there was nothing on telly. However I soon realised the games I wanted to play required me to have 500+ friends who were also willing to play the game. The few family members I had and the old school friends didn't come close to 50, never mind 500, so it became clear I need to add strangers who enjoyed FB games.
To be honest the whole idea of strangers seeing pictures of my family and knowing where I lived filled me with dread, yet I found great comfort and enjoyment in the games; a dilemma.
The solution, I created a second FB account, my 'facelessbook' account.
I set the account up solely to play these games. Because I planned to add strangers I didn't post any pictures of myself or my family on it and was very cagey about my real life details.
I started playing a few vampire games and while chatting with other gamers about the games I started to create a back stories of my pixel character, Darla The Deadly in my mind. As her story became more complicated I started to jot it down. This was the start of the Letalis Chronicles, but also the start of something else, the discovery of the 'real' me.
Hiding behind the avatar of the Vampire Kate Beckinsale, I found the confidence to discover myself. It seems strange to claim that, but it's true. Only a few of my real family know I write and play facebook games. Only one of my friends knows I write, and I only told her about a month back. Yet on my 'facelessaccount' I have a page where I have been sharing my stories for years. Through this facelessbook account I have made some truly fabulous friends who share my passion for writing and playing games. Even when my husband is around more I still log into my facelessbook account rather than my facebook account. I think it's down to the alter ego boost. Everyone need that fix, that pick me up that makes them feel good in themselves. On Facelessbook I play the vampire Queen who is respected and writes good short stories. Whereas on facebook I am just the choir member with the beautiful huskies.
My facelessbook has given me the confidence to get to this point. Those great people who have never seen my face have given me that and I am indebted to them for it. Yet now I face a new dilemma... how do I merge the two? How do I introduce the facebook to the real me?
